Q: What did the duck say when he bought lipstick?
A: "Put it on my bill."
Q: What do you call a pig that does karate?
A: A pork chop
Q: Can a kangaroo jump higher than the Empire State Building?
A: Of course. The Empire State Building can't jump
Q: What's the difference between a cat and a complex sentence?
A: A cat has claws at the end of its paws and a complex sentence has a pause at the end of its clause.
Q: Why cant you hear a pterodactyl pee? A: Because the "p" is silent.
Q: What happens when you cross a shark with a cow?
A: I don't know but I wouldn't milk it
Q: How do you get 500 old cows in a barn?
A: Put up a Bingo sign
Q: Why do ducks have webbed feet?
A: To stamp out fire.
Q: Why do elephants have flat feet?
A: To stamp out burning ducks